What a whirlwind these last few weeks have been. I closed on my first house, my cousin/best friend moved in with me and I feel like I’ve been running around the clock to figure out how this is all going to fit together.

This past Labor Day weekend was filled with so many wonderful people and things and it’s grounding me in who I want to be during this next season of life. I want to be open to new people and experiences. Say yes to more opportunities and embrace daring discomfort in the pursuit of adventures that bring a new spark to my soul and light up my eyes.

There’s something amazing (and sometimes horrifying) about being responsible for your own home, and the people that you allow to come into it. I think part of becoming older and owning who you are is setting the boundaries to be the truest version of yourself. To know when to say “no” and who to say it to. It’s up to me to decide who I want to invite into my new sacred space and create a home that resonates with me down to the very nitty gritty of my soul.

One of my favorite writers Shauna Niequist calls this “narrowing.” “There’s a narrowing that takes place as you grow up, I think- you leave more and more behind: things other people want you to be, things you thought you might want to be, ways of living that never did actually fit, like shoes that are a little too tight.”

No one tells you how daring it is to be the most honest and truest version of yourself. Especially during a new season of life when you’re embarking on new friendships and experiences, but also, how freeing is that?! To meet someone new and present them with the most authentic version of you. No fluff, no misconceptions, just being yourself- and allowing them the opportunity to either take it or leave it.

Sometimes I have this fear that I’m “too much”. Too loud, too straightforward, too aggressive. I worry that I come on too strong with new friends and people, cause if I’m honest I know pretty quickly if I like someone or not, and just feel that small talk is bull shit. If I want to be your friend, then that’s it- lets be friends…I want to jump in feet first and hear your story, not just the elevator pitch that you’ve memorized for new coworkers and mutual friends. But I know that’s not how everyone operates. Most (normal) people need time to warm up to someone. They need time for small talk and discovering different personalities, and this is where my fear of being “too much” comes in.

But that’s what’s so beautiful about owning my own house and owning who I am as a person. I get to be the one that invites people in, and they can take it or leave it. And if they chose to leave it that’s not a reflection of me because I showed up with the sincerest version of myself, and those that cross the threshold and step in are the people that are worth it to me.

I want an open door. I want to invite new friends and people who bring interesting perspectives and new points of view into my life. I want to be surrounded by people who inspire me and challenge me and make me laugh- the kind of laughter that brings tears to your eyes and makes your belly hurt.

I want to stay up late drinking one more glass of wine surrounded by dim light and curious hearts. I want to dance in the kitchen with my best friend to the Lumineers and share meals with people I love. I want to cook spicy chicken curry full of potatoes and peppers and eat from colorful patterned bowls.

I want to be “present over perfect” as Shauna says. I want to take the time to notice the smallest details and commit them to memory- searing in my mind the different colors and textures of this wiggly season of life. I want to be able to notice things as they’re happening instead of running from one thing to the next.

And I’m sure there will be nights when our little house is quiet with an extreme sense of stillness in the middle of a bustling city, but I know we’ll need those too. We’ll need those nights when the lamp light is low, curled up with a soft blanket and sweet peppermint tea. We need those nights where we can take a step back so we’re full enough to invite people over again. To open our house up once again for noise and laughter and honesty.

I can’t wait for a year mixed with both the stillness and the hustle.

What are you looking forward to this next season as the leaves change and we drift softly into another chapter?