Recently I’ve been noticing myself feeling moody.
Sometimes I think this has a little bit to do with seasonal factors, finally coming out of winter being cooped up for months on end, but I also think it has something to do with the people I’ve surrounded myself with.
It’s not to say that any of the people closest to me are bad. Quite the opposite actually. They’re wonderfully intelligent, spontaneous and have so much to offer, but the second half of 2018 just felt like a hard year.
Like every season of life, people face their own challenges-the highs and lows of walking through everyday life, and I think a handful of those around me have been in the throes of a really low season.
Which I in turn have let affect me.
I’ve taken their anxieties personally. Their short-sidedness, and personal reactions have had an impact on how I few myself and my own circumstances, and I found myself feeling the weight of their burdens, sadness, and heartache.
While I believe being available for family and friends during seasons of stress is crucial to deep and lasting relationships, carrying the weight of someone else’s emotions is self-destructive.
In an effort to remember my responsibility to my own happiness, I’ve been taking time to reset. Time to read books and articles that move me. Time to listen to podcasts that reconnect me with my own sense of joy and purpose. One of those being Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations.
I was on a walk the other day, quietly drifting through neighborhood streets filled with leafy trees and cheerful couples enjoying the evening, listening to an interview between Oprah and Harvard-trained researcher Shawn Achor. They were discussing Shawn’s research on ways that we can personally “diminish depression, increase joy, and shift our perspective to be more positive,” and once again, as a common theme in my life when things go awry, the conversation veered toward gratitude.
Through Shawn’s data, he’s composed 5 things that we can do to change the level of optimism and joy we bring to our daily lives. FIVE THINGS!
For 21 days, he suggests doing these five things, and promises you’ll feel a difference in the amount of happiness you experience.
- Wake up each morning and write down three thing you’re thankful for. They need to be different each day, and they should be specific.
- Meditate for two minutes. Even if you can’t “meditate” in the classic sense of the word, set aside two minutes and just listen to your breathing. It’s calming and gives you a little mental break.
- At the end of each day, take two minutes and write down one meaningful thing that happened to you over the last 24hrs. Write down every detail you can remember, because it helps you re-live that moment, and cement a positive memory in your mind each day.
- Take two minutes out of your day to let someone know you appreciate them. Text, call, or email. Just say thank you.
- Spend 15 minutes exercising. EVERY. DAY.
So here we go- I started June 1st.
I can’t say that I’ve been able to do all five things every day, but the #1 thing I’ve been doing is waking up in the morning and writing down the three new things I’m thankful for. It’s just one thing from the list, but I can already feel myself responding to negative things from a much healthier place. From a place of understanding and optimism. A place with more gratitude and love.
Hopefully these feelings spill over into the way I interact with people around me, but more importantly I can feel a difference in the way I’ve been feeling towards and treating myself.
If you’re in need of a joy and gratitude reset, by all means join me, and in 21 days lets swap some stories of the ways we’ve chased a little whimsy and embraced more joy.
Blazer: J. Crew Factory (sold out of most sizes, similar here)
Denim: Madewell (similar here)
Shoes: Free People (old, similar here or here)
Watch: Jord